April 1, 2018 / 11:30 am

Students Protest New Spaghetti Policy

BLOOMINGTON – Thousands of students gathered in protest of pasta yesterday in Dunn Meadow. IU President Michael McRobbie stated on Friday that “Indiana University’s new official noodle is Spaghetti.”

 

Students were not pleased.

 

“Spaghetti sucks,” said Freshman Lynne Guinee, 18. “Eating it is like trying to eat rope.” Guinee went on about her dislike of spaghetti, citing that it was too messy, hard to pick up and overall, “weak.”

 

The crowd had mixed views among what noodle IU should endorse, but it was clear spaghetti was not the answer. Penne and Cavatappi were a few of the most mentioned.

 

“Penne is the obvious choice here,” said Sophomore Al Dente, 20. According to Dente, Penne had a versatility and durability that he “did not see in spaghetti.” Dente made no comment on what sauce he preferred to pair Penne with.

 

Protesters filled garbage cans with boxes of spaghetti and set them ablaze.

 

IU junior Fetta Cheenie, 21, was one of those destroying the pasta. “I’d rather die than be forced to eat spaghetti,” said Cheeni. “This is the dumbest decision our school has ever made.”

 

The endorsement will result in all of IU’s dining halls to carry spaghetti in lieu of other noodles. A student organization called the Anti-Spaghetti Society has started to combat the change. Members of the organization plan on handing out free, non-spaghetti pasta to students so they don’t have to eat spaghetti.

 

Newt Dull, member of the Anti-Spaghetti Society, was among the crowd of protesters. “We’re need to band together as a community in these trying times,” he said. “We won’t let this go without a fight.”