December 13, 2015 / 1:54 am

Halftime is the Realtime

You can go to a basketball game to watch ten people shoot a ball through a hoop, or you can go to a basketball game to take part in its greatest tradition: the halftime show.

Sure, football games often have large, elaborate singing acts that they put on during their halftime shows, but basketball is different.The stadiums are small and the courts are tiny compared to a full football field. Because of that, halftime acts can be a bit more creative, more unique and more intimate.

For Indiana’s game Friday night against McNeese State, the halftime show was the Trampoline guys. These sky touchers delighted fans with their leaping abilities, even getting close to touching the Assembly Hall scoreboard that hangs above the court.

Fans were enthralled.

And why not, it wasn’t as if the game was providing this type of edge-of-your-seat entertainment. There were human beings soaring through the air, you just can’t beat that type of entertainment no matter how many Troy Williams blocks you have during a game.

Are the Trampoline guys the best halftime act out there? No doubt, there’s plenty of competition, so here’s an official list of best halftime shows in the basketball world.

Reminder that this list is scientific and all results are final.

8. Tic-Tac-Toe

Someone, somewhere thought ‘hey, why don’t we take a game we can play on a piece of paper and make it 20 times bigger?’ And sometimes, it works, but usually it doesn’t. The only time it’s really fun is if the person misses a clear tic-tac-toe opportunity, or it comes down to making a layup and racing back to the final spot. But mostly, this game can fall flat.

7. Baby Races

Let’s face it,┬áthe parents who make their small, innocent kids play this game are simply….AWWWW look at that one! He’s trying to crawl the fastest. So adorable! Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, baby races are fun for everyone, and I’m sure the babies don’t remember the trauma of losing in front of thousands of people, anyway.

6. Simon Says guy

This is the game we all think we could win. ‘Of course I would be able to listen to the guy say simon says!’ we tell ourselves knowing full well we’re just lying. Much like an Adam Sandler movie, it starts off with high hopes but ends in disaster. By the end, players are getting out left and right and it makes for some entertaining viewing, opening up a whole new opportunity to heckle people who don’t know their left hand from their right.

5. Jesse White Tumblers

These guys are awesome. It seems they’ve had the same routine for the past decade but it’s still entertaining as hell to watch. The fact that they can launch themselves so high into the air by jumping off some small, rickety trampoline is simply amazing.

4. Trampoline Dunkers/Trampoline Jumpers

If I wasn’t planning on become a world-famous sports journalist, this would be my job. What kid doesn’t want to jump off a trampoline and dunk a basketball? And much like a fat guy scoring a touchdown, trampoline dunkers never get old. These guys soar to heights that would make Vince Carter jealous.

To be honest, I’ll put the trampoline jumpers in here, too, because it’s the same concept and you can’t tell me what to do. Anything having to do with jumping off a trampoline is fine with me.

3. Quick Change people

One of the big reasons these guys are awesome is because we all want to be them. Who wouldn’t want to get changed by just throwing some glitter all over themselves? I know I do. Plus, I still don’t know how they do it.

2. Frisbee Dogs

Honestly, if you just brought small dogs out onto the court for 10 minutes, you would have my curiosity. But have them leap off your back and nab frisbees out of the air? Now you have my attention. Once you get past the fact that the dogs are more athletic than you, they’re tons of fun to watch.

1. The Firecrackers

Who doesn’t love The Firecrackers? They make jumping rope seem so much more fun than the annoying cardio exercise that it is. I know at Assembly Hall, they’re a crowd favorite. Hell, they use a human as a jumprope. A human! If that’s not quality family entertainment in 10 minutes or less, I don’t know what is.


So that’s my list. Remember, if you think that it should be in a different order, this list is official, so this is the correct order.


Follow Ben on Twitter @BenWittenstein