March 31, 2017 / 11:26 pm

6 songs to comfort you when you’re in a disagreement with the trash possum who lives in your hair

“So Sorry”—Feist

If you started the argument with your trash possum who lives in your hair, you might want to crank this classic tune and think about what you’ve done. Are you, like Feist, trying to start fights with those you love? Do you say things that you know will offend the trash possum? Quit!

“Walking on Broken Glass”—Annie Lennox

Did things between you and your trash possum used to be different? Did they used to be good? Was it a relationship built on mutual respect and care? When did things change? When did the nest atop your head become so cumbersome? When the weight of your trash possum becomes too heavy, shake it off with this song.

“Let’s Kiss and Make Up”—Ella Fitzgerald

Sometimes it’s better to admit fault—even if you are certain that your trash possum’s aggressive nature is to blame for your falling out. Let the sweet sounds of Ella Fitzgerald bring you back together. Try a tender approach with your trash possum and it will return the favor by not biting down on your scalp and infecting you with rabies!

“You Don’t Own Me”—Lesley Gore

I’ve advocated taking the high road with your trash possum, but sometimes it really isn’t you. When you two have a spat because your trash possum is being overbearing, it’s time to break out this track. Your trash possum shouldn’t dictate who you speak to or what you wear, and it definitely shouldn’t try to control your movements by pulling on your hair a la Ratatouille. You don’t have to put up with that!

“Wagon Wheel”—Old Crow Medicine Show

This is your trash possum who lives in your hair’s favorite song. Within three loops of “ROCK ME MAMA,” the little critter will be peeking its snout of its hair nest. Your trash possum will appreciate you remembering its most cherished tune. Bonus points if you can get your trash possum to wear a little red bandana while listening to this song. It will feel beautiful and safe.

“When I Get Home”—Post Animal

When all else fails, put on this spaced-out groove. I know living with a trash possum in your hair can be challenging. You haven’t been able to bathe in months. Your mother won’t speak to you anymore. Your trash possum is opinionated, brash, and it has long nails! But you know what you two can always agree on? Culture Shock 2017 artist, Post Animal from Chicago.