My Parents Reviewed Slime Season 3

With the hype surrounding “Slime Season 3”, I knew a slew of reviews would be pouring onto the internet with many unique viewpoints. However, I also knew that one viewpoint and music taste would not be represented: midwestern parents. I recruited my two, wholesome parents to take on the task of reviewing Young Thug’s new album.

My parents knew absolutely nothing about Young Thug. My dad’s favorite band is the Foo Fighters and his favorite rapper is Snoop Dogg, so it’s pretty obvious he had no idea about what he was about to get into. My mom, on the other hand, has attended a Childish Gambino concert and is relatively up to date on her Kanye from riding around in the car with me. So, I thought she’d be able to handle it a bit better.

I told my parents the bare minimum about Young Thug: he does have a pretty popular song on the radio called “Best Friend”, he’s known for his eccentric and gender bending style, and Elton John thinks he is the best rapper in the game. I set them up with Rap Genius on their phones so they could read along with the songs and we were ready to go.

First, I showed them the cover to get their reaction and let them know what Young Thug looked like. My parents were far from impressed. While my mom just stated bluntly that it was disgusting, my dad had a much more developed opinion. Steve could not comprehend what it had to do with the title or what artistic value there was in the gory photograph. After stating this opinion he followed it with: “What is Young Thug saying? I ain’t got no damn eye? That’s the dopiest album cover ever. Okay, now I’m being a smart ass.”

We began the album with “With Them”. Neither of my parents enjoyed it at all. My mom was extremely lost though she had the lyrics right in front of her face. “What???? It just doesn’t make any sense. ‘I just went hunting and found a rabbit’ that makes literally no sense,” Kim said. My dad looked up with an extremely concerned look on his face and said he didn’t like it because it was very degrading to women.

Moving on to “Memo”, Steve was still not enjoying it, and Kim was still no less confused. “I hate autotune, however ‘I do my shopping at Fairy, no tooth’ did make me laugh. Nonetheless, the autotune ruined it for me. Anyone can do autotune. Also, all he does is brag which is not very nice,” Steve said. My mom was a little more hung up on the title rather than the lyrics: “I don’t know. I didn’t like it. It still just makes no sense. I mean do you think he’s ever even written a memo”.

“Drippin” garnered the most attention, interest, and questions from my lovely parents. Before the song even began my dad stated, “I don’t think dripping means you just got out of the shower.” After listening to the tune, they had much more to say. Steve found some humor in the song and became a true rap genius himself: “Six golds in my mouth like an Olde English can…have you ever seen an Olde English can, Morgan? They’re all gold, so he’s saying he’s got a lot of gold in there. Also, if his dick is dripping that much, he may want to go see a doctor.” Kim was left with one simple observation: “He sure likes the word ‘dick’ a lot.”

“I’m just thinking about what I think ‘Drippin’ was about, so ‘Slime Shit’ is going to be very interesting,” my dad said laughing as we switched to the next track. “Slime Shit” was a little more enjoyable for these tough critics, but they were left with questions still. “It had less autotune so it was a little better, not that I liked the lyrics or anything,” Kim said, “But what is ‘slime boogie’? That’s like something you say to a toddler when they have a booger in their nose!”.

Next up was “Digits” which made my dad question if Young Thug was looking for an endorsement from YSL since he shouts it out at the beginning of the song, but the rap genius in him quickly figured out that it was obviously an acronym for something else. My mom remained very confused by Young Thug’s choice of slang: “Why is he talking about farting? That’s just stupid. I don’t think he put much thought into this song. I really didn’t like this one. It was too repetitive.”

“I know the song is called ‘Worth It’, but is it really going to be worth it?” Kim questioned as the next song begin. There really wasn’t much commentary on this track as both my mom and dad found Young Thug to be very hard to understand. “I don’t know if it was him or the autotune but he was just mumbling and whining and I didn’t understand a word of it,” Steve said.

“Tattoos” referenced several things my parents actually knew of which created quite the discussion in our living room. “‘Boat life like Gilligan’: is he really referencing a 60s sitcom? He also mentioned that he gets his weed from Snoop Dogg and I’ve never smoked weed so I wouldn’t know, but I’ve heard Snoop Dogg has some pretty good stuff so he’s probably smart if he does that,” my dad commented.  Kim didn’t catch any of the references because again she had the same comment: “I didn’t understand what he was saying”.

“Problem” was the song where my mom finally decided to try to decipher what Young Thug was talking about. “He talks about boogers a lot. It’s just boogers this and boogers that,” Kim said. When my dad pointed out that boogers may stand for bling or diamonds of some sort, Kim became a certified rap genius: “Why would you call diamonds boogers? Boogers are disgusting! I guess when you’re picking your nose they do say that you’re digging for gold so maybe that’s where he got it from”.

At the end of the album, I asked for their final thoughts and based on their previous commentary they were not very shocking. Kim commented that Young Thug might be talented if he would just sing because she didn’t think the music was bad. She wants readers to know that she’s not saying this because she hates rap because she doesn’t, she think’s Childish Gambino is talented and he really sings. My dad thought he could cut down on the autotune and disrespect towards others. Steve’s final comment: “You can’t really be a badass thug if you’re referencing Gilligan’s Island”.

Slime Season 3: