Thanksgiving Power Rankings

After grueling debate, painstaking consideration and hours of our team crunching the numbers…we are glad to present the inaugural Thanksgiving Power Rankings.

1. Mashed potatoes and gravy

Mashed potatoes and gravy are the only thing I have to love in my life.-Caellaigh Klemz

2. Post-meal nap

3. Stuffing

I’m glad they no longer stuff it inside the turkey. Makes it harder to eat. I want all of it right now. I don’t want to have to dig it out of a bird. I want it in my stomach. I love you stuffing. 365 days a year.-Sarah Thompson

4. Cheesy potatoes

5. Corn bread

6. Pumpkin pie

A dish so holy, it is reserved for one day of the year. Toss on a dollop (or five) of Cool Whip and there is no opposition in flavor and texture.-Kevin Hyland

7. Yams

“I’m in the kitchen, yams everywhere!”-2 Chainz
(Actual 2 Chainz lyric from “Birthday Song”)

I fear that yams are being edged out of the Thanksgiving line-up! But hey, I get one sweet potato a year, so I will always cherish the world’s most underrated side dish. I mean, on what other potato do you get to put marshmallows and brown sugar and it’s totally acceptable? The yam is childish glee! The yam is freedom!- Mary Luncsford

8. Turkey

9. Awkward family conversations

While it’s very uncomfortable when your great-aunt barb keeps asking when you’re getting engaged or your 43 year old born again second cousin wants to chat about your partying habit, at least you know they care enough to snoop. Plus you’re not the black sheep in the family yet, that’s still Hank.-Sarah Thompson

10. Green bean casserole

11. Cranberry sauce

12. Football

Football should have placed higher because showing all your male relatives that you know more than them about sports is just as good as any meal. #feminism-Carolyn Suna

13. Pecan pie

“Pecan Pie has been done a great injustice! The blend of crunchy pecans and a sticky, yet creamy filing creates a taste and texture that is greatly underrated.”-Max Hogg

14. Ham