From Collins to the Co-op, Bloomington’s self-proclaimed hippest let out a collective yelp when they read on Twitter that Creed and Nickelback endorsed their lord and savior, Sen. Bernie Sanders this morning.
“Red Hot Chili Peppers I could handle. Vampire Weekend, duh Ezra Koenig totally gets it, he went to like, an Ivy and started a band instead of a hedge fun,” freshman Collinsite Juliana Russell said, “But Nickelback? That hurts me on a deep level.”
Best known for being relentlessly harassed on the Internet for their lack of musical talent, Creed and Nickelback join numerous other artists, bands, and musicians that have endorsed the Democratic-Socialist Senator from Vermont.
Sen. Sanders is officially running for the Democratic nomination, though he has been a registered Socialist- one of the only in government- for over 20 years.
“I definitely believe that people should go to college for free,” sophomore Joey Chambers said. “A terrible band like Creed isn’t going to make me change my mind that the older generations should pay for all the ways they screwed up the country- and the world for us. Did you see that in 85 years the entire Atlantic coast is gonna be washed up cause the polar caps will melt? The least they could do is pay for our college.”
When Sen. Sanders first announced his campaign last May, many were skeptical of how a self-described Socialist from Vermont could run a successful campaign against Sec. Hillary Rodham Clinton, who was all but guaranteed the Democratic nomination.
Sen. Sanders successfully surprised pundits and politicos alike when he created a strong coalition of grassroots activists- many of them students- who shared his dream for a “political revolution,” to solve income inequality in America. Supporters contrast his authenticity with Sec. Clinton’s “YAAAAAAS” shirts for sale on her campaign website.
His minimal foreign policy experience compared to Sen. Clinton’s does not seem to bother supporters.
“Isn’t the lead singer of Nickelback from Canada?” Russell asked.
A group of friends outside of the Bloomingfoods at 2nd St. seemed distraught over kombucha.
“You see, Bernie is the perfect candidate for us,” senior James Powell said. “I’m like the most apathetic person in Indiana. But Bernie makes me actually care about the issues, I actually watched a debate instead of fiddling with my guitar pedals for the millionth time. But an endorsement from Creed…I don’t know what to make of that.”
His friend, senior Ruth Diaz nodded in agreement.
“I’ve always been low-key into politics,” Diaz said. “But none of my friends really cared. Bernie gets everyone really excited about the future of our country, but honestly I feel sort of weird that Chad Kroeger and I both like the same thing.”
Chad Kroeger is the lead singer of Nickelback.
“Isn’t Chad married to Avril Lavigne?” Powell asked. “You like her right?”
“Only ironically, you know I like, exclusively listen to vaporwave now,” Diaz said.
Bloomingtonions’ dealt with their existential crises brought on by the endorsements in the only way they could- Pint Night at The Bishop, followed by Root Cellar Karaoke.
At The Bishop, the volume and debate increased as the $3 pints of 3 Floyds were guzzled.
At one table, seniors Tara Pittman and Roger Ellis argued whether or not they would still vote for Sen. Sanders in the primary election on May 3.
“Endorsements don’t matter,” Ellis said. “If Bernie isn’t swayed by big money, he won’t be swayed by bad bands.”
“God you’re such a Bernie Bro,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I don’t think I can vote for Bernie after both Creed and Nickelback shared the official support. I really just can’t align myself with people like that.”
When asked is she would instead vote for Sec. Clinton, Pittman said she would consider reading more about her positions, but “probably not, I don’t even know if I’m registered to vote.”
Over at the Root Cellar, the mood seemed a bit more lighthearted.
A couple sang a duet of David Bowie’s “Starman,” as an homage to Sen. Sanders playing the song at his rallies.
Some openly discussed the endorsements, but most admitted to going out to ignore the new reality.
“Tonight is all about having fun,” junior Max Chung said. “Tomorrow I’ll deal with the fact that I’m supporting the same candidate as Creed.”
Not all seemed so upset. Junior Adam Kramer said that if anything, it will bring Sen. Sanders even more support.
“It’s all about the memes,” Kramer said. “Creed and Nickelback are huge music memes, we all make fun of them! And the Bernie campaign runs on memes.”
One of the most popular Facebook groups among Sen. Sanders supporters is aptly named ” bernie sanders’ dank meme stash.”
“Honestly government is so corrupt,” Kramer said. “Only rare Pepes can get Congress back to passing laws again.”